You’re single. You’re sad. You like books. You want to meet a nice quiet girl/guy to bring home to your ma and pa. But where to go? You could go to a bar, but you hate talking over loud music. You could go to school/work/the unemployment office, but you have to be there every day—don’t worry, you’ll find some work soon, person going to the unemployment office every day.
Hmm, you’re single, sad, lonely, and love reading. A bookstore! You could go to a bookstore to meet your future love. But it’s impossible to know where to start with a stranger. So I’m not going to pretend to offer you the impossible. Instead, I’ll give you twelve pick-up lines you should never use unless you lack all shame.
1. Are you actually Pennywise the Clown? Because you’re clearly an IT girl (or boy).
2. Did you write Huck Finn? Cause you’re driving me in-Twain.
3. Hi, my name’s Scott. Is your name Fitzgerald? Because you should F Scott, Fitzgerald.
4. You must be a page turner because I could stay up all night reading you.
5. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Because you’re hot.
6. Are you a handmaid? Because I was just checking out your tale.
7. If you were a book, you’d be a New York Times bestseller.
8. I wish I was a bookmark so I could slip between your pages.
9. Are you into Russian literature? Because we should Nabokov-fee sometime.
10. Are you a private detective living at 221B Baker Street? Because I’d Sherlock to get drinks with you.
11. If I were a genre of literature, I’d probably be a thriller. Because I could thrill…her.
12. Are you Peter Jackson, director of the Lord of the Rings films? Because you’re making my fantasies real.
Feature Image Via Telegrafi