There are so many spectacular Jane Austen quotes it’s hard to choose just three, but they’re not all just deep or wise or about marriage and life (or at least, not only those things). Some of them are actually the sickest burns I’ve ever seen in my life.
That is an incredibly metal way to talk about someone who died at sea. My god. Austen doesn’t get enough credit for totally demolishing people. These are not just cozy period pieces. Things get REAL. This is only like half the quote, too. She reads this guy straight through six feet and a coffin. He might not be good for much, but at least we got this devastating burn out of it.
What’s that Mr. Darcy? I don’t seem to understand you. Get rekt. Elizabeth is actually pretty polite. At least compared to Anne. I’m not sure there’s any outdoing her. Elizabeth is scathing though, and whatever she lacks in outright insults she certainly makes up for in getting her point across. There are many ways to offend.
Image via Duke University Libraries, quote via GoodReads
Be smug, readers. I guess this isn’t THAT bold of a statement, since people who DON’T enjoy novels aren’t likely to be reading Austen, but it’s also really extreme. “Intolerably stupid?” I mean, it’s not like I’m saying she’s completely wrong. I’m just saying. Those are READERS, Jane. Something something character development. If you didn’t like Northanger Abbey I guess this is why.
Was Oscar Wilde 200+ years ahead of his time? Probably. The man was so galaxy brain we don’t even need to make memes about him, everything he said is already practically a meme. You’ve gotta appreciate the sheer brilliant nonsense. Here’s some relatable content, all the way from the 1900s.
Image via Brainy Quote
Well, if they tempt you, what are you really supposed to do? Not give in? I don’t think so. We’re going to be out here, living our most decadent and ridiculous lives, just like he would have wanted. You’ve got to live your best life, and sometimes that means making whatever choices are offered.
2. That’s what friends are FOR
Image via Goalcast
I mean, if you’re going to be stabbed, at least you can do it like bros. It would be the polite thing to do. Murder doesn’t have to end a friendship. And who even said anything about murder? What are a few knife wounds between friends? It’s an allegory for betrayal anyway. Brotrayal?
3. But not too much
Image via Pinterest
‘Nuff said. Or is it? Damn you, Wilde.
4. Gotta go be cool somewhere
Image via Pinterest
Just living that cat life, writing decadent horror stories and being the icon of the century. Bored? Never. Just got things to do. What things? Who cares? If he’s doing it, he’s going to make it cool. He’s pulling off that haircut, for goodness’ sake.
5. We all know where the real party is
Image via Me.me
Not to be controversial, but — valid. I mean, Wilde’s life was not an easy one, so being denied something he never wanted anyway isn’t a big deal. It’s catchy and amusing, but Wilde is rejecting shame. Funny though. Honestly.
Image via BrainyQuote
Of course, we’ve all got legions of enemies (citation needed), so any advice a dead poet can give is going to change all of our lives for the better. Plus, this is a satisfying move. It’s low effort, and as well as getting your revenge, you get to be very smug while doing it.
7. One feel-good quote? I’M WEAK
Image via Books on the Wall
This is not as much a funny one, but it is one of my all-time favorites and always good when you’re having a moment, which is all the time for me. It’s the sort of pleasant, post-nihilistic sentiment we can always use, especially in strange times.
On August 24th Paulo Coelho will be turning 72 years old! Here are nine of the best quotes from his immeasurably popular novel The Alchemistto help celebrate the occasion, because there’s nothing quite like thinking about the universe to get you in the partying mood!
Image via Barnes and Noble
1. “Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place.
2. “Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.”
3. “The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.”
4. “So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.”
5. “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
6. “When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”
7. “It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting
8. “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.”
9. “There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one’s dreams would have no meaning.”
If you’re anything like me, SparkNotes has always been there when you need it. Now, they’re not only helping you pass your classes, but also serving you the spiciest of literature memes. They’re all pure gold, but here are just a few.
Theseus or not, YOU. ARE. VALID.
Unfortunately there’s no third option, so if you want to set the Minotaur up on a blind date with your friend, you’re kind of out of luck. Otherwise, you’re good though. What color do your sails need to be if you didn’t slay the Minotaur but you’re seeing it this Friday?
Some people appreciate attitude
I mean, he’s already in love with her by that point, but you get the idea. He’s always talking about how mean she is, and then boom, marry me! Of course, the same could be said of her. What a stressful ship. Still though, you know, I’m on it.
Want to delay your problems forever?
Curiosity may not have killed the cat, but it sure killed Dorian Gray. Still, he lived a while looking fresh and evil in stead of old and evil, so if you’ve got the attic space, why not? In this economy though? The thing’s going under the bed.
Do You haunt an old building? Then you need…
Sure, you might not be the most conventionally attractive, but your secret underground hideaway is second to none, and isn’t it what’s on the inside that matters? What’s under the surface? (What’s directly under the opera house?)
People can’t know we sit! And… murder!
Maybe not as relatable as the original video, but definitely a strong mood, and just as futile. The body stays right under the floorboards after all. If only there’d been seashells on the doorknobs, maybe things would have gone better.
Hindsight is… Ah man I botched it.
Don’t look back in anger (or at all). Going to the depths of hell is a nice gesture, and who doesn’t like musicians, but you’ve gotta stick the landing by actually fulfilling the deal. Just one opinion, but if both of you don’t come back alive, that’s a bad date.
Toni Morrison, essayist, novelist, professor, and Nobel Prize winner, passed away on August 5th, 2019.
In the wake of her death, many people, fans and celebrities alike, have been sharing the impact that the author has had on their lives. Oprah Winfrey and former president Barack Obama shared some particularly touching responses.
Image via AceShowbiz
Winfrey shared this image of her and Morrison on her Instagram with the following caption:
She was a magician with language, who understood the Power of words. She used them to roil us, to wake us, to educate us and help us grapple with our deepest wounds and try to comprehend them.
It is exhilarating and life-enhancing every time I read and share her work.
This pic was her first appearance on the Oprah Show.
She was Empress-Supreme among writers. Long may her WORDS reign!
Image via Entertainment Tonight
Obama posted about Morrison multiple times. On Tuesday morning he posted on Twitter:
Toni Morrison was a national treasure, as good a storyteller, as captivating, in person as she was on the page. Her writing was a beautiful, meaningful challenge to our conscience and our moral imagination. What a gift to breathe the same air as her, if only for a while.
Image via Twitter
Obama included the above image with his tweet, and posted the same image on Instagram along with this caption:
Time is no match for Toni Morrison. In her writing, she sometimes toyed with it, warping and creasing it, bending it to her masterful will. In her life’s story, too, she treated time nontraditionally. A child of the Great Migration who’d lifted up new, more diverse voices in American literature as an editor, Toni didn’t publish her first novel until she was 39 years old. From there followed an ascendant career—a Pulitzer, a Nobel, and so much more—and with it, a fusion of the African American story within the American story. Toni Morrison was a national treasure. Her writing was not just beautiful but meaningful—a challenge to our conscience and a call to greater empathy. She was as good a storyteller, as captivating, in person as she was on the page. And so even as Michelle and I mourn her loss and send our warmest sympathies to her family and friends, we know that her stories—that our stories—will always be with us, and with those who come after, and on and on, for all time.
“If there is a book that you want to read but it hasn’t been written, you must be the one to write it,” Tony Morrison said.
We are all so lucky to live in a world where she took her own advice and shared it with others.
Image via Ebony Magazine
Tracee Ellis Ross, lead actress in Black-ish and daughter of Diana Ross, tweeted her own response to the news:
Toni Morrison. While you have left the physical realm, the many treasures you left us will bear fruit for generations and generations. Your work has cascaded through my life deeply and simply… rest in power to a beloved icon.
Image via CNN
Shonda Rhimes, creator, head writer, and executive producer of Grey’s Anatomy had this to say on her Twitter:
She made me understand “writer” was a fine profession. I grew up wanting to be only her. Dinner with her was a night I will never forget. Rest, queen.
Image via CNN
Lastly, George Takei took to Twitter with his own response:
A towering figure in literature, Toni Morrison, has passed. Winner of the Noble Prize, and keeper and storyteller for so much of our nation’s soul, she was truly beloved to us all. Rest now, and let us honor you as a nation eternally grateful for your contribution.