Cancer is one of the most difficult challenges an individual can face. Not only does it physically attack the body, but it also affects the mind, soul, and overall life of those who battle it. For some, this experience becomes a creative window of opportunity to share their stories and offer support for people in similar positions. We interviewed authors who did just that; they fought back and turned their journeys into powerful memoirs about resilience and hope. Let’s take a look at what they had to say about their illness and creative process.
The Authors
Christine Magnus Moore
Christine Magnus Moore has been a Registered Nurse for over thirty-five years and specializes in Hematology Stem Cell Transplant. She has had a robust career and has worked in both the pediatric and adult oncology settings. Christine has worked as a bedside nurse, nurse coordinator, charge nurse, and nurse manager. She has diversified her career further and has worked as an emergency room, recovery room, and traveling nurse. Christine is a grateful cancer survivor for over twenty-two years.
Her cancer diagnosis and patient insights led her to write her book, Both Sides of the Bedside: From Oncology Nurse to Patient, an RN’s Journey with Cancer. Christine has published articles about survivorship in the Clinical Journal of Oncology Nursing and the ihadcancer.com website. Christine is a TEDx presenter and has spoken at Oncology Nursing and Leukemia & Lymphoma Society conferences. She dedicates her life to helping people affected by cancer, offering hope and compassion.
Rob Rufus
Rob Rufus is an award-winning author, screenwriter, musician, and activist. His literary career began when his coming-of-age memoir, Die Young With Me, was released to critical acclaim. It was listed as one of Hudson Booksellers’ “Best Books of 2016” and won the American Library Association’s prestigious ALEX Award. Rob then released two works of fiction: The Vinyl Underground, which was a Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selection, and Paradise, WV, which won a gold medal at the IPPY Awards and was subsequently picked up as a series by Paramount Pictures.
Rob created an original TV series called The Obituaries. It is now in development with Ley Line Entertainment (producers of Everything, Everywhere, All at Once). His adapted screenplay for Die Young With Me was a finalist for the Academy of Motion Pictures’ coveted Nicholl Fellowship and is currently in development, as is a musical adaptation for the stage.
Rob is a professional musician who has toured the world many times over. He is a founding member of the seminal early-2000s punk band Blacklist Royals. His new band, Nubs & Her Studs, is the world’s first “disability-visibility” band. Their debut LP, Unarmed & Dangerous, is slated for release in the first quarter of 2024 on mammoth indie label Fat Wreck Chords.
Rob is an advocate for causes concerning cancer, disability, and the opioid epidemic. He is an ambassador for Teen Cancer America and a member of The Inevitable Foundation for Disabled Screenwriters. He works closely with Make-A-Wish and the Invisible Disabilities Association.
Tina Martel
Tina Martel, who has both a BFA and an MFA in painting, is a retired Canadian Fine Arts professor. She is a professional artist, author, as well as an occasional model and singer. She spent over two decades teaching at North West Polytechnic in northern Alberta while building an art career across Canada. After her double mastectomy, she started an Instagram account, @not_in_the_pink_, to document her search for clothing to wear on her own newly flattened body. It expanded into an account about cancer, healing, body positivity, and pro-aging. Unfortunately, she had to end her teaching career after her third cancer diagnosis.
Martin and her husband, fellow artist and designer Doug Wills, moved to Vancouver Island, where they are spending much of their time blissfully beach combing and seal watching. She continues actively with her Instagram account, and the couple works together to produce compelling images that combine fashion and art and writing. She has since been diagnosed with salivary gland cancer and an incurable T-cell lymphoma, but she remains stable and can frequently be heard saying, “I love my life…and I have cancer. The two are not mutually exclusive!” Her book Not in the Pink won 11 awards for writing and illustration, and she is planning another.
The Questions
What inspired you to turn your cancer journey into a memoir, and when did you know it was the right time to share your story?
Christine Magnus Moore: I had been an oncology nurse for the majority of my career and knew how to care for cancer patients. Never did I imagine that I would be diagnosed with cancer, Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, in my thirties. My “knowledge” of what life was like as a cancer patient took on a much different perspective. I lived the roller coaster, arduous road, and experienced the depths of the cancer journey physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. When I found myself on ‘The Other Side,’ I saw things much differently and knew that there was so much I needed to contribute, via my own experience, to assist others on their journey. And, to have the medical community know more about what it feels like during some of the dramatic twists and turns that being on the journey can take. I knew without a single ounce of doubt that God called me to write my book, Both Sides of the Bedside: From Oncology Nurse to Patient, an RN’s Journey with Cancer, in hopes that it would provide insight, hope, and inspiration to others.
It took me a little over five years to write my book, and I didn’t start it right away. I had kept a journal of some of my experiences during the time of treatment. When I was able to, I went back to work as a pediatric hematology stem cell transplant nurse coordinator. It took me time to get back on my feet in every way. Eventually, I transitioned to working as a bedside pediatric oncology stem cell transplant nurse. About seven years after my diagnosis, I knew in the depths of my being that it was time for me to write my book.
Rob Rufus: I always knew my story was unique because I have an identical twin, so one twin being diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer while the other twin is perfectly fine added a whole layer of surrealness to it all. I had been living on the road touring in punk bands for ten years, and anytime I tried to talk about my cancer experience, it was awkward and upsetting. So I thought that if I could write about it, maybe people would understand and empathize with what people like me go through. I’m happy to say it worked out.
Tina Martel: I am an avid reader and an academic. When I was diagnosed, I started searching for books, articles, podcasts, anything I could lay my hands on. My first diagnosis was in 2011. At the time, it seemed that all I could find were two categories of books. One was the “cancer is a gift and the best thing that ever happened to me.” The other was “how to.” Although full of medical advice, it was cold on the actual human impact. I wondered where all of the authentic stories were. The ones that didn’t require you to immediately move into hero mode while fighting for your life? The ones that extorted you to make sense of your diagnosis and do all of this deep work about why.
Writing and creating my illustrated book, Not in the Pink, became my solution to what I would have liked to read. Honest, raw, painful, and funny. I did not publish it until 2014. Not because that was the right time, but because that is when all of the rather complicated parts came together. The only danger for me was in revisiting the original writing, but being careful to stay in that moment, not the one I was in a few years later.
In what ways did telling your story become a part of your healing journey, either mentally, emotionally, or even physically?
Christine Magnus Moore: Telling my Both Sides of the Bedside story was important because, as I mentioned, I knew I was called to do so. I had a higher purpose and felt led and guided to write it. By sorting through every detail of my cancer experience, I relived the highs and the lows, but with the lens of extracting wisdom, increased compassion, and insight. I became a different person in many ways, and writing my story helped me make sense of it more and honestly cleanse myself from the past trauma and suffering. I was able to put some things in their place. This was powerful because it allowed me to sift through emotions, vulnerability, and honestly agony, along with lessons as a nurse I learned from my patients. I feel it produced nuggets of wisdom that were extracted through delving deep and purging through thoughts, feelings, and by being an observer in a way, too.
Rob Rufus: Telling my story allowed me to take ownership of my survival. It let me embrace that part of myself as an aspect of my identity, whereas before it was a terrible trauma we all wanted to forget.
Tina Martel: I am an artist, and I have been creating sketchbooks and paintings from the time I was diagnosed. My happy place is always in my studio, and healing is easier when I am there. Creativity was and still is, for me, a way of processing my life and my emotions. While I was going through treatment, I was sending email updates about my progress to friends and family. Those original writings became the basis for the longer text of my story. Seeing the response to my book, where so many agreed that they didn’t get the “pink and pretty” cancer that was in the books, either, also helped me. Their validation made my story only one of many who had experienced the same. I do think it has changed now with far more patients and survivors taking up the mantle of “this is my story and it doesn’t fit the narrative we have been fed.”
What do you hope readers take away from your story, whether they’re survivors themselves or not?
Christine Magnus Moore: I really hope that readers feel touched by reading my journey and that it inspires, uplifts, and gives them the determination to keep going in the midst of whatever trials they are facing. I hope patients going through cancer treatment feel like they are not alone on the journey, and feel that my book, Both Sides of the Bedside, is a companion to them. I hope that through whatever twists, turns, and trials someone is facing, my story gives them hope for their own journey, whatever that may be. I would like medical professionals to read it in hopes that it gives them new insight and understanding of what patients live through the cancer journey, thus producing more empathy for them in caring for their patients. I’ve had people who have not been affected by cancer personally, or know of anyone close to them who has, read my book and say they couldn’t put it down. There’s a tumultuous love story intertwined, too. Again, more life hurdles.
Rob Rufus: I hope they take away that you can overcome incredible odds with a little luck and a lot of willpower. And I hope they get into some of the punk rock bands throughout the book.
Tina Martel: A cancer diagnosis is truly life-changing. Any major health crisis is. Returning to normal as they tell you to do is not that simple. What is normal anymore? You need to redefine that answer for yourself. I hope that it gives someone the courage to say I can do this on my terms. I can be authentic about it and not sugar coat it. You will have good days, bad days. You can be angry and sad, and having those emotions is not going to kill you. Staying positive, although it is a lofty goal, is incredibly damaging to you in the long run. You need to process your own emotions. They are neither good nor bad; they simply are. If you are watching a loved one go through this and have read my story, maybe you might have a deeper understanding of what happens to them in the wee, soul-searching hours of the night when there is no one there and they don’t have to pretend everything is fine.
Memoir writing often requires deep vulnerability. What were some of the most emotionally challenging moments to write about, and how did you navigate the process of revisiting them?
Christine Magnus Moore: It’s true that writing a memoir requires deep vulnerability. I had to recall and relive my cancer journey and dive into the deep emotions of it all. One of the challenging times was when I was being driven up to my fourth chemotherapy treatment at my oncologist’s office. Prior to that, with my other chemo treatments, I had been very sick with nausea, vomiting, etc. As I was riding in the car driving toward the cancer center for my fourth chemo treatment, I became very anxious and started dry heaving and sobbing. I couldn’t control how upset I was. My boyfriend escorted me to the infusion room at my oncologist’s office.
I entered an utter mess, crying uncontrollably and dry heaving. I sat down in the chemo chair, and my nurse and other patients in the room tried to comfort me. My nurse handed me a valium, which I took. Eventually, I calmed down, and the infusion started. It was hard seeing myself so out of control. This was a low point during my cancer journey, however, I also gained comfort from my fellow patients and a new camaraderie with them.
I have other examples of the vulnerability I faced during treatment, and interwove some stories of my patients in my book, Both Sides of the Bedside. I kept a journal and wrote down some specifics about living life as a cancer patient. When it was time to write my book, I read the journal entries. It helped to look at those with the distance of time and objectivity. Then, I started on the road of handwriting some of the memories that would come to me, and writing on my laptop. It was helpful for me to have a writing group where I read the pages I wrote aloud and shared emotions from the pages.
Piece by piece, and literally word by word, I wrote my book. My writing group would give me constructive feedback on the pages I read over a period of years. The process of doing this also helped me purge through all the details of my cancer journey and feel like I was not alone in doing this either.
Rob Rufus: I just barreled straight towards them. The hardest part was writing about the other people in my life, maintaining the truth while being conscious of the light I’m painting them in. I figured as long as I was as hard on myself as anyone else in the memoir, it would be an empathetic and humanistic portrait of all those who suffered and survived along with me.
Tina Martel: Reliving the experience was happening regardless of whether I wrote about it or not. The toughest part for me was those people who really let me down. I could have added more of that into the story. But I thought there was nothing to be gained by it except adding more conflict. The parts I left out added nothing to the story but a lot to my own personal experience. I wondered if it meant I was being disingenuous, but ultimately decided that weighing my words carefully was better. Although the phrase from author Anne Lamott played through my mind many times: “Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better!” I mostly chose the high road.
What is some advice you would give to other cancer survivors considering writing about their own experiences?
Christine Magnus Moore: The advice I would give cancer survivors considering writing their own experiences is a few things. If you feel called to do it, then do it. Writing can be healing, so do it for yourself. It might be advantageous to participate in a writing group if you’re seriously considering publishing your story. Realize that what you’ve battled is filled with courage, so is writing! I wanted readers to really connect with my story and feel like they were living the journey with me.
Therefore, I took an intermediate novel writing class at a university, followed by being in a professionally led writing group for years. Writing is cathartic. However, it is also hard work. It took me a little over five years to write my Both Sides of the Bedside book. I also intertwined stories of me as an oncology nurse taking care of patients, which took time maneuvering my story for greater impact and learning for the reader.
Rob Rufus: I think they are Certified Bad Motherf***ers and they should do that sh*t!
Tina Martel: The same advice I gave to decades of my Fine Arts students. Be authentic! Talk about your experience. Not what you think the reader wants to hear. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Be yourself. If you have a sense of humour, even dark like mine, use it. One of the best compliments for me about the book was hearing that on one page, the reader was laughing, crying, and appalled. Maybe you are extremely analytical, which I am not, use that. Who are you? The reader wants to know. Also, if we don’t tell our own stories, someone else will establish the narrative for us.
What’s a song or album that got you through treatment, or still lifts your spirits today?
Christine Magnus Moore: I didn’t have one song or album that got me through treatment. A song that lifts me up is Happy by Pharrell Williams.
Rob Rufus: Promised Land by Bruce Springsteen really hit me hard during that experience. Fight Till You Die by Pennywise, and other punk rock bands like H2O, Black Flag, Face to Face, and Bad Religion were on repeat.
Tina Martel: I have spent most of my life either singing or dancing. For years, I made some of my living that way. I find my musical tastes shift and change. I do not have a single genre. On the days when I was morose, I listened to whatever lifted me up. When I needed to calm down, I put on dance music and rocked it out in the kitchen, which incidentally is the only good use I have ever found for it.
I sang the rallying cry Do You Hear the People Sing from Les Misérables at the top of my lungs as I walked down the stairwell to do my radiation treatments. Great acoustics: I highly recommend it. “When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of a drum. There’s a life about to start when tomorrow comes.” The toughest part for me, when I returned to singing, was that many songs reduced me to tears. I had to work through it. Although even now it can sneak up on me, and I was caught on stage doing an emotional Both Sides Now rendition that had me in tears. I sang through it.
Do you have a favorite book that you’ve read more than once, and why does it keep calling you back?
Christine Magnus Moore: A book that has been impactful to me is Hannah’s Gift: Lessons From a Life Fully Lived by Maria Housden. The memoir is the story of a mother who has a child with cancer. It calls me back because there is so much tenderness, depth, and realness to it. Hannah (the author’s child), Maria Housden, and her family are heroes. To me, the patients I’ve cared for are heroes, and all those who have battled the beast. This gives me increased passion to continue to contribute and help those battling with cancer, those in their survivorship, and those who have lost a loved one to it. There’s power in the depths of someone’s story.
Rob Rufus: The memoir I read, which inspired me to write my book, was Born on the 4th of July by Ron Kovic. It told an unflinching story of a young man who became disabled after being shot in Vietnam and returned home to find himself disillusioned with the American Dream. The way he talked about medical drama and the isolation of survivorship gave me a blueprint of the kinda cancer book I wanted to write. It’s an incredibly powerful piece of literature.
Tina Martel: As I mentioned, I am an avid reader. I reread a lot of books when I was in treatment. It depended on what I was going through. Did I need information, distraction, or motivation? I have since learned that often people who suffer from PTSD (and as high as 78% of cancer patients do) often read books or watch programs that they are familiar with. It offers no surprises, and they feel in control. That makes sense to me, as there is enough anxiety in what you are going through. Favourite anything is always tricky for me. I simply can’t commit to only one.
Christine Magnus Moore, Rob Rufus, and Tina Martel’s journeys are truly inspiring. Thanks to our amazing authors for answering our questions and sharing their insight!
Find Christine Magnus Moore here.
Find Rob Rufus here.
Find Tina Martel here.
Want to read more author interviews? Check out what poets had to say about the importance of slam poetry here!
Interested in more non-fiction reads? Check out our Non-Fiction Titles for the Enlightened Mind collection on Bookshop.org!
