This is hardly the first time food has served up pop culture entrees, some of these collaborations more disastrous than others. On the wholesome end of the spectrum, we have Blue Apron’s Bob’s Burgers promotional special, during which subscribers could make their own ‘Absentee Shallot Burger.’ Of course, it couldn’t stay so sweet. All my Millennials will remember the apocalyptically green Heinz ketchup that followed the release of Shrek, which was just about as deeply cursed as all the Shrek content to come over the following decade. (Shrek ‘daddy’ hat, anyone?) And most of us will remember the desperate act of late stage capitalism when, back in 2017, McDonalds offered a limited run of Szechuan Sauce to appease whichever Rick and Morty fan had successfully incapacitated his rivals. In fact, it did not appease any of them: it drove them into a frenzy.
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Let me know if you know what to do with this, because I don’t.
But hell, this isn’t the first Game of Thrones food crossover. This isn’t even the first GoT food crossover this year. Back in February, Instagram accounts leaked previews of upcoming themed Oreos. What does an Oreo have anything to do with the popular fantasy franchise? Well, that seems pretty straightforward: people are willing to spend money on both of them. Comedian Seth Meyers had a different hot take: “the way it works is you eat seven of them,” he said, explaining the connection, “and then you have to wait three years before you can have another.”
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Shake Shack’s Madison Square Park Manhattan location is offering a ‘secret’ Game of Thrones menu that they want you to know about—and spend all your money on! And really, is it a trick if you want to pay up?
Trust us, you’ll want to. Here’s a Shake Shack representative’s own description of the feast:
The Dracarys Burger (Drakaro Parkliapos) features a double Monterey Jack cheeseburger sourced from the finest head of cattle The Seven Kingdoms has to offer. Griddled by the fires of Drogon and Rhaegal, the burger is then topped with a fiery ShackSauce created from herbs and spices sourced from the conquered cities of Yunhai, Meeren and Astapor. The final touch are slabs of bacon imported from Essos—a Dothraki delicacy. Caution: may be too hot for non-Targaryens.
In keeping with Shake Shack’s (Rholītso Rhakion’s) commitment to premium ingredients and thoughtful sourcing, the Dragonglass Shake (Zīrtom Perzomy Rholītsos) is a prime example of the Wall to Table movement. Custard is frozen with packed snow harvested beyond the Wall and hand churned by members of the Night’s Watch. Final prep occurs in Winterfell, where the shake is topped with shards of Dragonglass imported from the caves of Dragonstone. Please note supplies are limited as the Wall is currently undergoing major renovations.
I tried the Dragonglass Shake myself, and I can confirm: it’s f*cking delicious.
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The catch? You have to order your meal in Valyrian. Fortunately, Shake Shack has helpfully provided a translation guide that may-or-may not be helpful when you’re fighting the Manhattan lunch rush with more violence in your heart than that of the most morally bankrupt Westerosi leader.
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While we suspect this twist will be much more delightful to fans of the show than to the overworked Shake Shack staff, we can all appreciate an entrée as meaty as one of George R.R. Martin’s plots and a drink as cold as his murderous little heart*.
*Dear George: I am happy to redact this statement provided that you don’t kill Dany or Arya. Thanks!
Featured Image Via Uproxx.