Trumps Words Become Poetry

Donald Trump is a lot of things, such as a uniquely successful entrepreneur, a television personality, and, as the frontrunner for the 2016 Republican Presidential nomination, as outspoken and divisive a candidate as we’ve perhaps ever seen.  But there’s one skill even he didn’t know he had: poetry.  Don’t worry, we’ll explain.

On December 15, HarperCollins will release a book containing Trump’s speeches, interview answers, and tweets.  Though HarperCollins assures that none of Trump’s original text has been altered, the book, Bard of the Deal, is being billed as a collection of poetry.  If you’re having trouble imagining this, here’s an example from the publisher:

I was attacked viciously
By those women,
Of course, it’s very hard for them
To attack me on looks,
Because I’m so good-looking.

But I was attacked very viciously
By those women.

The book was put together by reporter Hart Seely, who spent six weeks looking through hundreds of transcripts.  The result is, of course, less a carefully crafted work of poetry and more a hilarious sendup of one of America’s currently biggest public figures.  If the first example wasn’t proof enough, check out this one:

Nabisco. Nabisco!
Oreos! Right?
Oreos! I love Oreos!
I’ll never eat them again. OK?

I’ll never eat them again.


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