This Game of Thrones Fan Theory Will Blow Your Mind (Because It’s So Wrong)

NOTE: In this article I’ll be detailing my masterful theory for the first book only, so I can give you guys time to piece your minds back together before I demolish it five more times.

Okay, okay, hear me out guys! _ the puzzle pieces all fit!_ It all came to me in a dream. Here’s what is actually happening in A Game of Thrones that George R.R. Martin doesn’t want you to know about!

Part I: The Seven Kingdoms are Part of the Animorphs Universe

George R.R. Martin’s first book is written from the perspectives of eight different characters, right? Ned Stark, Daenerys Targaryen, Tyrion Lannister, Jon Snow, Paul Snow, George Snow and Ringo – they all get their turn at the mic. But you know what else had the exact same bright idea of character POVs trading chapters _? The classic Scholastic series Animorphs

The connections don’t stop there. They both came out in the summer of ’96, all the villains have inpronounceable names, _

Need more proof?

When Ned’s family adopts six direwolves, they correspond to each of his six children…or were they his kids the whole time?

Just think about that for a second. I know I didn’t.

Exhibit A through Z, your honor! (TenTonParasol / Wikimedia Commons)
 

_. His timeline is spun-off in the Nickelodeon show, Ned’s Declassified Night’s Watch Survival Guide.

Part II: Bran Stark Never Would’ve Fallen off That Tower If He Was Wearing His Seatbelt

Not so much a theory as it is a fact. Sorry, haters.

Part III:

&&&

_ Glengary Targaryen

_ The beheadings are

_ Gimli is actually the founder of Gringott’s Bank, that’s why _.

…what do you mean, “have I even read the books?” Of course I haven’t! The best fan theories are all about wildly postulating based on ambiguous information! What’s more ambiguous than having no information?

I rest my case.