A virgin, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is “a person who has not had sexual intercourse” (this is the definition that will be used in this article).
The concept of virginity has been so ingrained in society that most of us don’t stop to think about it. Why does it matter if someone is a virgin or not? Like all tropes, it’s rooted in real-life issues and beliefs that have seeped into literature. In this Trivia edition, find out more about this trope’s origins and the problematic ideas around it.
Trigger warning: This article discusses topics such as misogyny, mentions of rape, sexual assault, victim blaming, and more, which may not be suitable for all audiences. Please exercise personal care while reading.
What is the Virgin Trope?
There can be slight variations of this trope, but they all follow the same basic premise. One character — often a young woman — is viewed as “innocent” and inexperienced with sex, while her partner — often an older man — is there to “teach” her using his past experience. She’s seen as virginal, wholesome, and “not like those other women” because she’s never been touched intimately and is still “morally pure.” This trope is more commonly found in romance novels, particularly historical romances, where “impure” women were shunned and rejected. It can be found in any fiction genre, but it’s typically prevalent in romance and romance-adjacent genres.
So, What’s the Problem?
To be clear, there is nothing wrong with having sex; on the other hand, there’s nothing wrong with never having had sex. Both are perfectly fine. The problem is that within this trope, the woman’s virginity is her biggest defining trait. Nothing else about her is interesting except that she’s a virgin, and the man is fixated on that. This trope is perpetuated not only by men but also by women, even though it hurts women in real life.
What Brought This Trope About?
There isn’t one specific thing that created the virgin trope. Changes in society and beliefs over thousands of years brought it on so strongly. There are a number of possible sources that are to blame for it, but this article will discuss the following three: religion (specifically Christianity), purity culture, and misogyny. They may not have directly formed the virgin trope, but their influences likely led to its creation.
Religion
The intertwining of virginity and religion spans thousands of years. It’s hard to know exactly when it all started, as information is limited, but it may have begun with temple virgins, which are present in several religions, including Christianity and, perhaps, Judaism, but the most well-known were the Vestal Virgins in ancient Rome. These were six priestesses chosen before puberty, usually around 6–10 years old, to tend to Vesta, the virgin goddess of the hearth. It’s believed that they originated around the 7th century BC and were highly revered for their duty to Vesta. They were to watch over the flame in the Temple of Vesta, and if the flame ever went out, either Rome was in danger or one of the priestesses had been unchaste, for which they would be severely punished.
Religious beliefs have changed over time, and Christianity slowly intertwined the concept of virginity with religiosity. The idea of one’s virginity became important around the time Mary birthed Jesus Christ, though their definitions of virgins varied from those abstaining from sex to people spreading Christianity. Around the fourth century, there was also “virginity of the soul” — when virginity is expressed through her behaviors, appearance, etc. — and “virginity of the body” — the idea that virginity was visible when looking at the vagina. Toward the end of the fourth century and into the fifth, it was believed that “virginity of the body” could be narrowed down to the female anatomy — likely, this meant whether or not her hymen was intact, a concept that is still widespread today.
The Bible also has a lot to say about sex. For example, 1 Corinthians 6 says to “Flee from sexual immorality,” as that would be sinning against one’s own body, and bodies were considered temples of the Holy Spirit. So not engaging in sexual immorality would be honoring and obeying God. Hebrews 13 says that marriage must be honored, “and the marriage bed kept pure” because God would judge those who didn’t.
Since sexual immorality had to be avoided at all costs, lest one sinned against God and was punished, virginity became tightly woven within Christianity. After all, in Deuteronomy 22:13-30, there are strict punishments for both men and virginal women who are sexually immoral. At worst, depending on their sin and if they are both found guilty, they may be stoned to death. While the consequences for sinning have changed since then and beliefs regarding sex have relaxed, the impact of these views have persisted well into our modern time.
Purity Culture
This movement started in the U.S., specifically the Midwest, in the late 1990s, with the intention of protecting girls and young women from sexual scandals. This type of culture has actually existed for centuries, through groups and movements such as The Ladies’ Association for the Care of Friendless Girls in England in 1883. Their main goal was to prevent girls and women they deemed high-risk from becoming prostitutes due to their circumstances, whether it was their social class or family, and to encourage purity and chastity. They provided services and resources to help them steer their lives in new directions away from sin.
In Leviticus 19:29, it says to not “profane your daughter by making her a prostitute, lest the land fall into prostitution and the land become full of depravity.” In other words, if girls and women fall into prostitution, then everything and everyone will fall into depravity as a result. It’s likely that this is what these groups were trying to prevent with various purity movements and groups.
Some of this is different in modern times; instead of trying to protect girls and women from prostitution, purity culture now focuses on discouraging premarital sex for boys/men and girls/women. The number of people having premarital sex was increasing, and this was their method of controlling it. They would have teenagers make purity pledges, committing to themselves and God, that they would remain virgins until their wedding day. Sex was to be saved for marriage; after all, 1 Corinthians 7:2 says that since sexual immorality is tempting, “each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” Sex isn’t sinful if the people are married. So, as long as they wait until then, they can be saved from sin.
Misogyny
Misogyny has been around probably as long as there have been humans, and it has deeply shaped cultures, beliefs, and views around the world. Virginity has been a large part of this, and women’s honor and integrity have been bound to their virginity. For example, in ancient Greece, women who had premarital sex were considered low value and unimportant, likely because of the three Virgin Goddesses in their mythology — Hestia, Artemis, and Athena. Virgins were also treated better than non-virgins, considered free and not tied to the will of any man. These reasons gave women the incentive to remain virgins in order to be treated better than other women.
However, women were also seen as deceitful and the source of problems because of Eve’s sin, and remaining a virgin through celibacy was the only way to break that sin. They were uncontrollable, and this led to many practices, including keeping boys and girls segregated so as to avoid temptation. Girls were often not allowed out in public, and those who were had to be carefully chaperoned. This meant that prior to marriage and consummation of said marriage, girls had no contact with boys or men outside of their own family, and no knowledge of or experience with sex.
Before marriage, potential husbands would pay fathers of virgin girls and women more than if their daughter wasn’t a virgin, tying their worth to money. This meant that once they were married, they were their husband’s property. They had to do what their husband said, and were even told, in Ephesians 5:22 to submit to their husbands as they would to God. But it was also believed that women belonged to whomever they first had sex with, one of the major reasons they were supposed to remain virgins until their wedding day.
How It’s Going Today
Society has drastically changed, even in just the past few decades, and so have views on virginity, sex, and women. The virgin trope came about sometime in the last 50 or so years, but it has also begun to slowly change. While there are series that still perpetuate harmful stereotypes, there are also ones that take this trope and spin it on its head.
Books that Use the Virgin Trope with a Twist
There have been variations of the virgin trope, from making the MMC the virgin to the FMC exploring sex on her own terms. It’s interesting seeing how authors mix up the trope, avoiding some of the issues associated with it while still relying on its prevalence so they don’t have to explain as much to readers, which can be seen in the books below.
Wild in Winter by Scarlett Scott
As the Duke of Coventry, Gill, has never been a ladies’ man — in fact, he’s never even kissed a woman. Although, he needs a wife to replenish his familial wealth, so he must push past his shyness. He wants a wife who’s sweet and calm like him, and completely unlike Miss Christabella Winter.
Christabella wants passion and excitement, and her infatuation with the shy duke infuriates her. When she learns of his plight, she decides to teach him about courtship and to kiss him out of her system to get over her love. But soon enough, she wishes he would only look at her.
When the Duke Returns by Eloisa James
Lady Isidore was married by proxy at the age of twelve, and eleven years later, she’s fighting off lecherous men while waiting to finally meet her husband. She’s determined to love him no matter what, and when she finally brings Simeon Jermyn back to London, his handsomeness puts her at ease. Until disaster hits: he wants an annulment.
Simeon has come back to London fully ready to start his life as duke. Although, he finds his wife is too stubborn, ravishing, and sensual, rather than the obedient duchess he wanted. Isidore won’t give up so easily, and she will do anything to win his heart, including sacrificing her virtue. After all, he can’t annul their marriage if they’ve already consummated it. Yet this plan won’t only risk Isidore’s dignity, but perhaps her heart as well.
Off the Clock by Roni Loren
Marin Rush loves studying sex, and getting a job at The Grove, an exclusive experimental sex therapy institute, is incredible. She has no practical experience, which makes her job even harder, and she soon realizes that maybe she’s the one who needs sexual healing.
Her colleague, Dr. Donovan West, agrees. Marin’s clients will run her over unless she has experience, and he won’t get a promotion if she fails, so he gives her a list of tasks to prepare her for the job. Some tasks require a second person, and when Marin looks for someone else, Donovan decides he’s the man for the job. So long as they keep these tasks confidential and don’t involve feelings, everything will be fine, right?
The virgin trope was inspired by thousands of years of beliefs, religion, and so much more. It is one that has been damaging to women and girls and society as a whole. Hopefully, as time continues, this trope will change more and more, until it’s unrecognizable.
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