The ‘Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’ Roast Part 2

Here we go! Hope you got some snacks and went to the bathroom after that long first part, because here we are going to wrap up the terrors and wrap up the series. Let’s get into it!

 

via GIPHY

We’ve covered, the Dark, the United, the Weird, the Perverse, and the Cosmic in PART 1. Next up is the Returned, where the dead walked the earth again. Some familiar faces include, Dorcus (one of the original weird sisters who was killed by her sister, Agatha, in a fit of insanity), Sabrina’s father, Dr. Cee’s, mother, and Vinegar Tom (Zelda’s familiar).

I was expecting to see Dorian grace us with his presence but he wasn’t there, though, and he dies super recently, like a few episodes ago. Justice for Dorian Gray!

So as the main cast deals with the dead rising and a high stakes battle of the bands, Mambo Marie has to play a game with Lazarus to decide the fate of the world: whether the dead will continue to come back and decimate the land of the living, or go back to their graves never to rise again. This episode was one of the best in the season for me. It was devastating to watch Sabrina’s father reject her, but it was amazing to finally have closure for the weird sisters and finally, Agatha is sane.

But the biggest disappointment of the episode was the bombshell the writers dropped about Mambo Marie. Since Lilith killed Lazarus, Mambo has to gather the Returned, but she has to stay with them because she is truly Baron Samedi, a loa, or god of the dead. Her true form looks a lot like Papa Legba if you remember American Horror Story: Coven.

Why can’t Zelda be happy?! Someone needs to tell me at this very moment. Please, I’m begging! She was in a horrible marriage to Faustus, then had to take over has head mistress, her niece, her family and her coven were constantly in danger, then Marie walks into her life last season. It was a shock to see them kiss in the last episode but the gays were eating it!

via GIPHY

But having Marie’s big reveal just got rid of one of the only other queer couples on the show and again not letting Zelda be happy, which we DON’T stand for in this house! But as a terror, the Returned was a great threat and the conflict between the god formally known as Mambo Marie was cool.

Second to last is the Endless, which manifested in a really interesting way. So we are back with Sabrina Morningstar who went into the other reality. Suddenly we are back in the 90’s for the “original” Sabrina the Teenage Witch, sort of. The sets are same as we’ve known like Sabrina’s house, Harvey’s house, the high school, but we get a real enough look at the sound stages they seem to be on.

For this special episode we get to meet the original Aunt Zelda and Aunt Hilda played by Beth Brodrick and Caroline Rhea respectfully. And be prepared because this episode gets very, very meta. Meta in the sense that, all of the characters including Sabrina, the aunts, Roz, Nick etc. are all actors on the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina show. This universe’s Salem talks and looks very much like a puppet, which is of course reminiscent of the 90’s show.

The OG aunts tell her how she’s the new Sabrina and that everyday she has to arrive on set, on time, or she’ll end up in the green room. As she does show, she realizes that the day never changes and she is on the Endless and the avatar of the terror is Salem Saberhagen himself! He’s the head writer of the show, makes everybody eat nothing but tuna out of a can and milk, and he decides who is sent to the green room to die.

The very last page of the script has the last terror, the Void, come and destroy everything, so she tries to convince everyone that they had to leave, but the actors were bringers and worshippers of the Void. Sabrina Morningstar and Salem escape through the mirror that she came in as the Void made that reality cease to exist.

 

via GIPHY

Woo! Here we go, last episode and last terror let’s do this! The Void is the quintessential destroyer of everything; worlds, realms, universes, angels, demons, EVERYTHING! Sabrina Morningstar gets to see Sabrina in enough time to tell her that the Void was on its way before dying. It super sad but its plan time and no one knows what to do until, thank Hecate, the Trinket Man offers Sabrina PANDORA’S BOX! Honestly who knows where this season would have been without him; he’s the true MVP. He tells her that she will only be able to capture the void by being in the center of it and she will most likely sacrifice herself in the process.

So instead of telling anyone what she was doing, she wrote a goodbye letter, called forth the void, and goes through her mirror before closing it behind her. so no one could stop her. While inside she starts absorbing the void but her family and friends find out what she is doing and tries to pull her back. They couldn’t pull her physical body back so they decide to rip her soul out and put it in Sabrina Morningstar’s body right when she is about to fully absorb the Void.

I get they didn’t want Sabrina to sacrifice herself but what other plan did any of you have? If it’s against Sabrina’s life to BILLIONS of others, I’m sorry, a sacrifice must be made. It was like everyone bumped their heads and forgot that again, they didn’t have another plan, they just grabbed Sabrina because they didn’t want to be without her. Now, that Sabrina is out of the Void, her body and the Pandora’s Box were both left behind, but everything seemed fine and they all thought prematurely that the Void was gone for good.

BUT, of course it wasn’t going to be that easy. Everything is going back to normal and Sabrina is finally turning 17. However, we start to notice small things go missing. Lilith for some reason makes a deal with Lucifer to get her powers back, she told him about how his Sabrina was dead and they brought back OG Sabrina in her body. No one likes a snitch, Lilith. So, now we’ve got a war brewing! Lucifer and Kalaban enslave some mine workers, including Harvey’s dad, to be a part of their infernal army. They storm the Spellman Mortuary and demand they return Morningstar’ body for a Queen’s funeral. Oh, father of the millennia forces Sabrina to bind her powers but when Ambrose goes to defend her, they try to fight.

Sabrina, now able to *poof* people away, scares off Lucifer. We realize that Sabrina has some how absorbed some of the void while she was trying to capture it in Pandora’s Box.

 

 

via GIPHY

She leaves for everyone’s safety and winds up with Blackwood, who tells her that he could help her control it. Weeks go by and the crew finally catch up to Sabrina and Blackwood and Sabrina looks awful! He acts like a weird disciple of Sabrina’s and they learn that Blackwood wants to sacrifice Sabrina and absorb the Void for himself. After she makes Roz and Prudence disappear by accident, she leaves a message with Ambrose about when to come back.

 

TW: Suicide, death and blood mention.

 

The whole crew comes back, knocks Blackwood, and comes with a plan to get everyone she poofed away. They have to do the ceremony Blackwood was going to anyway, but by trying to keep her alive long enough to go into the void and get everyone. In the end, Sabrina lost a lot of blood, probably all of it and dies.

GIRL! You couldn’t even image the chaos I went through when I sat and watched that. I was like, “They are not going to let Sabrina die! Can’t be!” But they did. They have a service for both Sabrina’s and is was incredibly disappointing. Here’s why, in list form.

 

#1 Did Sabrina really have to die?

Sabrina is our main girl, and in being so she is our anchor into the world, into the lives of her friends, aunts etc. If Sabrina doesn’t get a good ending its as if, for me, the rest don’t either. She was the center of their worlds and now she’s gone. We have no inkling of an idea of what is going to happen to Harvey, Roz, Theo, Robin, Prudence; a great ending leaves you with an understanding of what the main crew has ahead of them, but we don’t get that here.

#2 What was Mambo Marie’s reveal for then?!

Once Marie tells Zelda who she really was, she gives her something to summon her if she needed her. Why wouldn’t have either of the aunts plead for Mambo to bring her back? She is a god or the god of the dead and Sabrina died so…. What’s not clicking? Necromancy is forbidden, whatever, but Marie brought back Vinegar Tom, Zelda’s familiar, a DOG back to life, but not her niece? Her niece who died completing a selfless act no less!  I was praying that at the funeral Mambo had Sabrina’s hand in hers and she walked her back. Why tell us who Mambo really was but not make it mean something?! Other than the fact that Zelda not only lost a meaningful relationship, but her niece who’s basically her daughter.

 

via GIPHY

#3 Nick’s swim in the sea of sorrows

In the last shot of the show, we see Sabrina in what we can assume is an afterlife by herself and then Nick appears. He says that the Sea of Sorrows had wicked undertow. So basically Nick is dead but it’s also, sort of implied that he committed suicide?! Am I the only one? Please tell me if I am. Of course he was mourning Sabrina, but why would he casually take a dip in the Sea of Sorrows if he didn’t want to survive? This is a really heavy and important topic and I don’t think they handled it tactfully.

 

So, this is the end of ‘Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’ and what a ride it was!

One of my biggest problems with the season, among everything else I talked about, is that  you didn’t feel the terrors anywhere else. Since they decided to hang around Greendale, there was no real threat of the rest of the world being affected, until the Cosmic and the Void. With Lovecraftian horror you get that it will destroy the world. Sure, we had instances of the mortuary getting more bodies than usual but there was never any news reports, radio news, or anything else clueing us into how the outside world was affected. It wasn’t like the terrors were caged there, the darkness could have spread a lot further and there would be reports about black outs. The Perverse absolutely should have been better utilized than just in Greendale. They could have given Blackwood what he wanted and the whole country, or what would have been under his control, and then taken away by the witches.

Scale was missing from this season and it’s a shame. Lovecraft is terribly hard to adapt along with Junji Ito, an incredibly talented horror manga artist and writer who often takes a cosmic horror approach. Like Lovecraft, Ito’s concepts just happen and a lot of the time there is no real reason or cause, but it devastates whatever it touches. For example, in one of his famed works, The Hanging Balloons, a famed young star in Japan is found dead, hung outside, and it’s ruled a suicide. People are whipped up in frenzy; grieving her loss, speculating if it was actually foul play, and unfortunately copying her, maybe in an effort to bring her back.

As days go on, people report seeing her ghost as a huge a balloon of only her head. Then suddenly there is an onslaught of head balloons with a noose at the end of them snatching up their counter parts, those who look exactly like them, as if they made for the person. No one is exempt, no one can hide for long and there is no real way to defeat them unless you want to kill the person the head “belongs” to. There is utter despair and it doesn’t affect one town or city of Japan and these balloons are everywhere.

But who knows? The team could have been heavily affected by Netflix’s interference, how short of a season they got, Ms. Rona, or a whole host of other things. But I do want to thank the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. It was fun while it lasted. We had some great times and it did what it had to do.

Now, I’m off preparing for the next edgy reboot/Netflix original series to roast. FATE: The Winx Saga, anyone?

 

via GIPHY

Featured image via Dailyreasearchplot