The Best Advice From T.S. Elliot on Naming Your Cats

As many of you literary scholars may know, T.S. Elliot was enamored with cats. His love for feline companions ran so deep that he made an entire book of poetry dedicated to cats; their antics and their rules of companionship. For any cat lovers and people who desire to befriend a feline, here is some advice on naming your kitty from T.S. Elliot’s Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats.




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1. Cats Have Three Names!




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The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
    It isn’t just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.



Your new kitter is simply too majestic to have only one name. Elliot gives us three different types of names for our furry friends. First is the family name, then the more personal name only for the beloved owner, and lastly the name no human knows, but only cats do. Lets go more in depth into these three titles.



2. The Family Name




My Silver!


First of all, there’s the name that the family use daily


All cats have simple names that members of the family, friends, and newcomers address them as. For instance, the amazing exhibit of pure feline purrfection above is my cat; his family name is Silver. To close family, Silver may be called other more personal names if they have a close bond. But all outsiders and strangers MUST address your feline by this name! Any other name called to your cat must be taken as an insult and be dealt with SWIFT AND BRUTAL redemption!



3. The “Fancier” or Personal Names




Saty the Lady: the most elegant baby


But I tell you, a cat needs a name that’s particular,
    A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
    Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?



After the family name, comes the fancier ones. These are personalized, royal titles to only be given to your kitter after the two of you have bonded thoroughly. You may find yourself calling out this name without even realizing it, and this proves even further how formal this title is. Surely whenever you call your “widdle bayby” by there fancier title, they will always be in a good mood. For example, my second cat is shown above. Her family name is Sativa. But her fancy name is “Saty the Lady” because she is just the most royal thing I have ever seen! LOOK AT THAT FACE!



4. The Unknown Name




I wonder what my babies call themselves in their dreams



But above and beyond there’s still one name left over,
    And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover—
    But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.



The final of names for your beautiful beast is one that humans will never know. Elliot leads us to realize that the final name is the name a cat may call themselves. We can only hope to one day translate their thoughts one day and uncover this third and final name when the cat gods see it fit. But for now we can only speculate!



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