Have you finished an overly cheesy angsty romantic story? How about a 12-book novel series with multiple spin-offs? What if your favorite author isn’t writing a sequel to your favorite book any time soon? It sounds like you might have a book hangover!
Here are some questions you need to answer before proceeding with this superb treatment:
Are you feeling a sense of loss?
Does it feel like there’s a hole in the pit of your stomach?
Are you calling your best friends by your favorite fictional character’s name?
Have you gotten papercuts from rereading pages too quickly?
Do you have no more room in your margins from annotating the fu–
Are you staying up late at night and staring into space reimaging a perfect adaptation that you know is never going to happen because the world has to be against you and fanfiction reading can only do so much, so now all that you can do is shed tears of sadness and joy for reading the best book ever but if you ever talk about said book your family and friends will tell you to shut up after the hundredth time, so instead you decide to talk to yourself in your room as if you’re speaking to your favorite character because only they’ll understand you, but then you forget your favorite character probably wouldn’t be friends with you in real life because you like the antagonist more than the main character because you like hurting your feelings more than you want to admit?
Well, look no further; we have neat tips and tricks for you to get over this book hangover!
Step 1: Acceptance.
Accept defeat. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “It’s okay that I miss you.” You’ll feel so much better when you do. This also works with book crushes.
Step 2: Try a new book.
The only way to get over a book is to tackle another. Hopefully, something that has your favorite trope. Or, if you want to go cold turkey, try out a book that is the exact opposite in genre.
Step 3: Talk to someone that’ll listen to you about your book obsession.
Step 4: Write a letter to your book.
Tell it all the reasons why you’re deciding to move on and that you’re never ever ever going to read it again.
Step 5: Write a letter to the author.
As an ode, as a thank you, or a complete demand that you deserve a sequel or a continuation.
Step 6: Read it one (ten) more times for a last-day farewell.
Get a glass of wine, coffee, or your choice of beverage and begin again. It’ll be your last, so make it count. Listen to a heartbreaking playlist to get in the mood. If the adaptation soundtrack slaps (come on Twihard fans, I’m looking at you), turn the volume on and hum your heart’s desires.
Step 7: Reread your annotations.
If you write in your books, reread what notes you’ve taken and the highlighted parts.
Step 8: Write a lengthy review.
Step 9: Hate-watch the adaptation.
Take a shot of vodka every time it ruins the book, and take two shots of whiskey every time they do it right. (Or you can stick with soda pop, no judgment.)
Step 10: Just don’t.
Let the obsession fester. Read and write fanfiction to your heart’s desires.
Fanfiction.net (yes, this one is ancient. So, what about it?)
Step 11: Bonefire time!
Regret that you stopped the book hangover process and host a bonfire at the beach to burn the book as a sacrifice.
Step 12: Don’t burn the book!
Repeat step 1!
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