As Game of Thrones nears its end and the Avengers prepare to assemble one last time: how can we avoid spoilers? Not look? Families don’t go to the zoo and not expect to see a lion or two; because let’s be honest, a zoo without lions would be exceptionally lame (I’m not condoning the incarceration of animals by the way—set them free). Spoilers are like lions and we are their prey. Even now, millions of unsuspecting people are scrolling their news feeds and aimlessly goggling while you read this article. You don’t know me; maybe I’m some sick spoiler obsessed freak who’s about to drop the incendiary piece of information that ruins your day, week, month or year. Lucky enough for you, I’m reformed. I used to love spoilers; however, the months leading up to the final season of Game of Thrones and Avengers: Endgame have changed me.
Once upon a time, impatience was my mistress. I would read and watch stories up until the moment a cliffhanger or some oblique bit of ominous information presented itself. Masterclass storytellers would wind me up like a jack in the box until I exploded and craved an answer or an ending. I couldn’t stand not knowing. How could I possibly be a productive member of society with thousands of possible story threads/outcomes tangling up my brain? It only made sense to flip further a few pages or do one innocent online search—simply to put my mind at ease and move on with my life. And shouldn’t I grant others the same relief?
People don’t like that.
Directors like the Anthony and Joseph Russo don’t like that. After the ending of Avengers Endgame was recently leaked online the duo took to their shared (exercise some individuality guys) Twitter:
I’m with them on this one. But I won’t lie to you: I can’t say my past as a member of the sinful spoiler syndicate was not dark and disturbed. When I experienced stories in the traditional way I couldn’t wait to talk to someone about them or to see their reaction.
I’m sorry Tucker for pretending Battle of the Bastards just popped up on my T.V. by accident when you were committed to reading The Winds of Winter first. I was sick. Impatience is like irreverently racing towards the finish line, throwing earned catharsis, character development and revelations to the wind. The internet reinforces this with an endless rabbit hole of theorizing in the form of videos, Reddit threads and wasted hours.
That’s all very unfulfilling…and there’s probably a very bad place reserved for those who spoil Harry Potter’s semi-death, Robert Neville’s monstrosities, Tyler Durden’s existence or how gone a girl Amy Dunne really is. Fortunately, my taste for spoilers seems to be diminishing with age so I have the rest of my life to repent.
At this point in my life, I don’t want the end of Game of Thrones or Avengers: Endgame spoiled for me. I’ve spent too much time with these characters. I want to experience it. The only problem is: spoilers are out there and threatening the immersive storytelling experience craftsmen like the Russo brothers set out to provide. In their case, a twenty-two film arc finale.
Minutes before I sat down to watch the premiere episode of GoT on Sunday, I received more than a few text messages from people who were not going to be able to see it right away. Some of them said things like “Don’t say anything,” “I’m blocking you until tomorrow,” “I’m going to be an hour behind. If you ruin anything consider our friendship terminated.” I’m still regaining people’s trust…
And to those who still find a way to spoil things for people: I will beat you.
Featured Image Via Cnet.com