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NSFW: What Goes Down at a Harry Potter-Themed Sex Party

Yesterday, I found one of the best op-ed pieces I’ve seen in a while on The Bold Italic, entitled “I Went to a Harry Potter–Themed Sex Party”. The author, who took on the pen name Luna Nymphadora, went to a Harry Potter-themed sex party, and the article itself is quite the ride. It’s (obviously) a little risqué, but hey, that’s what makes it fun, right? I fully recommend reading the whole article.

 

But just in case you don’t want to, here are ten excerpts, mildly paraphrased, to paint you one hell of a ridiculous picture.

 

1. My eyes widened as I took in what was happening around me. In one corner, a leather-clad man whipping welts into the bare back of his chained-up boyfriend. […] There was a woman bent over a spanking horse in the middle of the room, sobbing like Moaning Myrtle. This scene continued to unfold to the whimsical beat of a song from the Harry Potter soundtrack.

 

Harry Potter gif

Gif via We Heart It

 

2. I looked over at my friend Padma and wondered if she was feeling the same way as me—a combination of morbid fascination, slight arousal and amusement at the fact that we were spending our Friday night together at a Harry Potter–themed BDSM party.

 

3. One of my friends stumbled across an Eventbrite listing called “Chamber of Secrets: A Harry Potter–Inspired BDSM/Kink Party.” The absurdity of the event description (“Whip out your wands and join us for a magical play party. Whether you’re a Muggle or a wizard, this party is for you. We don’t care if you got your Hogwarts letter—you are welcome here,” plus free Butterbeer!) was more than enough to get me to purchase tickets. 

 

Harry Potter gif

Gif via Buzzfeed

 

4. I opted for a hot-pink wig (inspired by the character Tonks), a black corset, lace stockings, black wizard robes and the wand that my friends had surprised me with on my 30th birthday at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios Hollywood. Padma wore a long purple wig, a sexy low-cut black top, a fitted skirt and heels. We decided to nix the black-lace eye masks I had purchased from Amazon. They were too Fifty Shades of Grey for this occasion.

 

5. Haven is one of San Francisco’s newest dungeons, located on Folsom Street in SOMA, an area known for its high concentration of kinky venues and the annual BDSM festival Folsom Street Fair. It’s also completely unmarked from the outside and located right next to a pizza parlor.

 

6. Upstairs past the reception, about 10 people were hanging out and admiring each other’s costumes. I was surprised to see that the majority of costumes were not kinky, so I felt a little like an outsider in my cleavage-baring corset and lace thigh-high stockings. One guy was dressed as Dobby the House Elf, complete with floppy felt ears and a ratty towel tied like a toga, and his partner was dressed as Dumbledore without a beard. 

 

Dumbledore gif

Gif via Harry Potter Wiki

 

7. If you didn’t know any better, this could’ve been a 12-year-old’s Harry Potter–themed birthday party.

 

8. It was fun trying out the sex swing, but at that point, I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed by just how tame everything was. That thought was quickly interrupted by the sounds of a cracking whip and moans of a man in excruciating pain coming from downstairs.

 

9. Once the novelty of being at a Harry Potter–themed sex party wore off and the smell of sickly sweet Butterbeer combined with bodily fluids started to become overwhelming, Padma and I decided to call it a night after just a little over an hour. She went home to have sex with her boyfriend, and I was sadly disappointed by going home alone. After weeks of excited anticipation over fantasizing about all the things that could have happened that night, having it end with me watching the newest season of Grace and Frankie on Netflix (while trying to drown out the sound of my roommate having sex with his girlfriend) felt like a bummer.

 

10. If I were to go to another sex party again, Harry Potter–themed or otherwise, I’d want to go with a sex partner. After all, it’s much more fun to play Quidditch than to watch from the sidelines.

 

Gif via Giphy

 

Featured iImage Via Imgur