As YA book adaptations featuring anonymous, omnipresent trouble-makers with penchants for blackmail go, I was always a Gossip Girl …girl. I have watched the entire thing start to finish twice. As such, I’ve never watched Pretty Little Liars. I remember my friends being totally obsessed with it all through the end of high school, and beginning and, indeed, middle of college, (the show ran for a solid seven years, don’t forget, during which time not a single member of the cast seemed to have aged at all) and I held out all that time because I knew that if I watched the first episode I would become addicted. I knew this because a YA high school murder drama could not be more up my alley and a complete encapsulation of themes that interest me if it tried. I put it off because starting it meant committing to investing a lot of time into it. And time, children, is something of which we humans do not have a lot.
Anyway, last Thursday I was like fuck it I’ll watch the entire thing, let’s go.
Honestly, I’m not 100% sure where I was going with this article, I guess I just wanted to legitimize my questionable decision to embark on watching all seven seasons of a show described by a friend of mine as “a slog” that she “regrets watching tbh.” I’m doing it for work, I can tell myself once this article is finished. The people of Bookstr will support my support of a popular book adaptation. The people will want to know my opinions on a show that started running in 2010 and finished a full year ago.
First impressions having watched the initial eight episodes:
1. How is Lucy Hale so good looking? She looks like a drawing of a hot person. I can’t stop gazing into her eyes.
2. Yesss Holly Marie Combs, bringing that Charmed goodness to Rosewood. Love you forever Piper.
3. Aria’s dad is some freak and does not deserve her cool mother.
4. Love that there appears to be no more than a ten year age gap between Hannah and her hot mom. Also her dad can also absolutely suck it; WHO introduces their fiance to their daughter WITHOUT TELLING THE DAUGHTER THEY EVEN HAVE A GIRLFRIEND? This show is RIFE with faulty fathers. (see also: Spencer’s ‘I only care about winning’ dad.)
5. Spencer’s sister Melissa looks EXACTLY like the villain in Titanic. Observe:
Images Via Pinterest
6. Toby looks very like a younger Woody Harrelson (not as much as Melissa looks like Titanic dude though.)
Images Via Pinterest and Mashable
7. Emily’s evil ex-boyfriend who tried to force himself on her in the locker rooms better get his comeuppance.
8. Obviously I’m like “who the f is A’ but I’m also still traumatized by the outrageous and nonsensical fact of who Gossip Girl turned out to be, and so I’m not going to get too invested in speculation.
9. Aria’s student-teacher relationship is creepy AF and I hope he doesn’t come back. When they’re in the bar and his friend is like ‘dude you’re gonna be wearing an orange jumpsuit’ or whatever, he’s right and should have also said “Our friendship is kaput you absolute scumbag, please cease dating teenagers. Oh my god.”
10. When the girls receive a video of themselves taken from INSIDE the closet in the bedroom, they are not remotely terrified enough. That incident should be enough to drive them all absolutely berserk with fear and paranoia and I have no idea how they just brush it off and carry on with their daily lives. I would have a full-blown mental breakdown if that happened to me. I already think every creek in my apartment is a would-be murderer coming to dispatch me and I don’t even have any known enemies! If I discovered that someone who I knew had a vendetta against me and had been WATCHING ME FROM INSIDE MY WARDROBE I would legitimately never be the same again. I know there are plenty of things in this show for which one must suspend their disbelief but this one really bothered me.
So. That’s where I’m at. Updates to come once I’ve watched the next eight episodes. Tune in next time!
Featured Image Via Netflix