Let me walk you through an impossible world of edible Tuscan delicacies. It is a garden of olives where no olives grow. It is a land of bottomless salad and infinite breadsticks. It is, of course, the one and only (with over 800 locations in North America) Olive Garden.
The story begins on October 3rd, when Eater published an essay titled ‘Christ in the Garden of Endless Breadsticks’ by Helen Rosner. In it, Rosner writes with deliciously poetic ear about the wonders of Olive Garden. Of particular interest to the internet was this line: “There is only one Olive Garden, but it has a thousand doors.”
The line captured readers’ interest to such an extent that Rosner was inspired to create a contest around it. A fan fiction contest.
Holy crap I will buy dinner for 4 at Olive Garden for anyone who writes a real short story with this as the opening line https://t.co/7TUpKQFn1L
— Helen Rosner (@hels) October 3, 2017
Rosner offered to bring the first four entrants out for a dinner to, naturally, Olive Garden. This impromptu Olive Garden fan fiction contest spawned some wonderfully odd tales. Development writer Genevieve Oliver wrote, “‘The breadsticks. Are they any good?’” Yes, Genevieve. The breadsticks are good. Very much so.
Forbes humorist Curtis Døde Aldri wrote and won one of the four dinners to Olive Garden. When Rosner invited Aldri, he responded, “I wouldn’t eat at Olive Garden if someone held me at gunpoint. I did it for the lolz.”
All right, Aldri. You live that weird life of yours over there, where you probably eat bad things like actual olives.
If you’d like to read through all of the amazing Olive Garden fanfiction, check out the replies to Rosner’s initial tweet posted above. And if you’d like to produce your own Olive Garden-inspired prose, just remember that your imagination is as boundless as their breadsticks.
Feature Image Via CNBC