Since its publication, Pride and Prejudice has been known as the blueprint for romance: The introduction of the classic “miscommunication trope,” the tall-dark-and-brooding love interest, and the kind of chemistry that could burn an entire house down. While all of that is true, it’s also true that Pride and Prejudice is kind of hilarious. Yes, it’s a romance novel, but Jane Austen’s snappy and sarcastic quips will elicit more than a couple barks of laughter from any reader. I’d even say this novel is more of a rom-com than a romance. Don’t believe me? Here are 19 hilarious examples of Jane Austen’s wittiness guaranteed to at least make you chuckle.
When Jane Austen spits facts in the very first paragraph:
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a great fortune must be in need of a wife… this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.
Pride and Prejudice, Chapter One
When Mr. Bennet Subtly Roasts Mrs. Bennet:
‘You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these twenty years at least.’
Chapter One
When not even Mary can think of something smart to say:
‘What say you, Mary? For you are a young lady of deep reflection, I know, and read great books, and make extracts.’
Chapter Two
Mary wished to say something very sensible, but knew not how.
‘While Mary is adjusting her ideas,’ he continued, ‘let us return to Mr. Bingley.’
When Mrs. Bennet says she wants but one of her daughters to marry rich… and also all the rest of them:
‘If I can but see one of my daughters happily settled at Netherfield,’ said Mrs. Bennet to her husband, ‘and all the others equally well married, I shall have nothing to wish for.’
Chapter Three
When Jane Austen gives the most accurate description of Bingley and Darcy that I’ve ever seen:
Bingley was sure of being liked wherever he appeared; Darcy was continually giving offense.
Chapter Four
When Darcy is just like us… an introvert at heart:
‘She asked [Darcy] at last how he liked Netherfield, and he could not help answering her; but she said he seemed very angry at being spoke to.’
Chapter Five
When Jane Austen does not think much of Mary:
Mary, who having, in consequence of being the only plain one in the family, worked hard for knowledge and accomplishments… Mary had neither genius nor taste.
Chapter Six
When Jane Austen calls Kitty and Lydia stupid:
The two youngest of the family, Catherine and Lydia, were particularly frequent in these attentions: their minds were more vacant than their sisters…
Chapter Seven
When Mrs. Bennet hatches her evil plan:
‘Well, my dear,’ said Mr. Bennet, when Elizabeth had read the note aloud, ‘if your daughter should have a dangerous fit of illness—if she should die—it would be a comfort to know that it was all in pursuit of Mr. Bingley, and under your orders.’
Chapter Seven
When Mrs. Bennet is okay with Jane being sick… for just a little longer:
Had she found Jane in any apparent danger, Mrs. Bennet would have been very miserable; but being satisfied on seeing her that her illness was not alarming, she had no wish of her recovering immediately…
Chapter Nine
When Mr. Darcy calls Elizabeth handsome after being pressured to insult her:
Miss Bingley was left to all the satisfaction of having forced him to say what gave no one any pain but herself.
Chapter Forty-Five
When Mr. Collins proposes to Charlotte Lucas:
In as short a time as Mr. Collins’s long speeches would allow, everything was settled between them to the satisfaction of both.
Chapter Twenty-Two
When being rude means you are in love:
‘I never saw a more promising inclination; [Mr. Bingley] was growing quite inattentive to other people, and wholly engrossed by [Jane]. Every time they met, it was more decided and remarkable. At his own ball he offended two or three young ladies by not asking them to dance; and I spoke to him twice myself without receiving an answer. Could there be finer symptoms? Is not general incivility the very essence of love?’
Chapter Twenty-Five
When Mr. Collins is being ridiculous, as per usual:
‘You can hardly doubt the purport of my discourse, however your natural delicacy may lead you to dissemble; my attentions have been too marked to be mistaken. Almost as soon as I entered the house I singled you out as the companion of my future life. But before I am run away with by my feelings on this subject, perhaps it will be advisable for me to state my reasons for marrying—and, moreover, for coming into Hertfordshire with the design of selecting a wife, as I certainly did.’
Chapter Nineteen
The idea of Mr. Collins, with all his solemn composure, being run away with by his feelings, made Elizabeth so near laughing that she could not use the short pause he allowed in any attempt to stop him farther, and he continued.
When Elizabeth says this total zinger after Darcy’s first proposal:
‘You are mistaken, Mr. Darcy, if you suppose that the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way, than as it spared me the concern which I might have felt in refusing you.’
Chapter Thirty-Four
When Mr. Collins (not-so) subtly roasts Lizzy for being poor:
‘Do not make yourself uneasy, my dear cousin, about your apparel. Lady Catherine is far from requiring that elegance of dress in us which becomes herself and daughter… Lady Catherine will not think the worse of you for being simply dressed. She likes to have the distinction of rank preserved.’
Chapter Twenty-Nine
When Lydia (the runaway bride) offers to help the rest of her sisters get husbands:
‘And then when you go away, you may leave one or two of my sisters behind you; and I dare say I shall get husbands for them before the winter is over.’
Chapter Fifty-One
‘I thank you for my share of the favor,’ said Elizabeth; ‘but I do not particularly like your way of getting husbands.’
When Elizabeth rebuffs Lady Catherine perfectly:
‘Though I know it must be a scandalous falsehood, though I would not injure him so much as to suppose the truth of it possible, I instantly resolved on setting off for this place, that I might make my sentiments known to you.’
Chapter Fifty-Six
‘If you believed it impossible to be true,’ said Elizabeth, coloring with astonishment and disdain, ‘I wonder you took the trouble of coming so far.’
When Darcy knows Elizabeth really, really well:
‘I knew enough of your disposition to be certain that, had you been absolutely, irrevocably decided against me, you would have acknowledged it to Lady Catherine, frankly and openly.’
Chapter Fifty-Eight
Elizabeth colored and laughed as she replied, ‘Yes, you know enough of my frankness to believe me capable of that. After abusing you so abominably to your face, I could have no scruple in abusing you to all your relations.’
Film and miniseries versions of Pride and Prejudice can be incredible ways to watch the magic of Jane Austen’s characters come alive, but there’s so much you miss when you don’t read or listen to the book! Neither the characters nor the narrator hold back when it comes to insults, which is shockingly hilarious in Georgian times.
To learn more about Jane Austen, read our article.
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