Greek Mythology is full of crazy stories and even crazier people. Saying that family dynamics on Mount Olympus are hectic – and a bit incestuous – would be the understatement of the century, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun with that. Have you ever wondered what Greek gods and goddesses would be like in the modern world? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to date an Olympian? You probably shouldn’t, but here at Bookstr, we thought it would be fun to imagine what the 12 Olympians’ Tinder bios would look like!
Without further ado, let’s take a look at the Olympians’ Tinder Profiles!
Let’s face it, the Goddess of Love would be the Queen of Tinder!
Apollo never really got over Daphne turning into a laurel tree to get away from him; he’s just on Tinder to forget about her!
Ares was never one for commitment, much like Aphrodite, he just wants to have fun. Those two would definitely match with each other!
Artemis is asexual, and would only be on Tinder for a good laugh!
Athena is also asexual and would likely be looking for a sparring companion rather than a date!
Demeter is pissed at Hades and Zeus for taking her daughter away from her; she would spend her time creating fake Tinder accounts to match with them and track them down!
Dionysus is the designated party animal of the Olympians and would be one of those people who swipe right on everyone!
The only reason Hades would be on Tinder is to spite Persephone after a fight!
Hephaestus is trying to get over Aphrodite’s infidelity!
Zeus is incorrigible.
Poseidon would definitely be that Tinder guy who’s holding a fish in all his photos!
Hera knows Zeus is on Tinder so she created an account to keep an eye on him!
Hestia has had enough of family drama and wants to start fresh!
Did you enjoy this article? Then be sure to check out our Literary F*ckboy Tinder Profile series here!