Halloween is just around the corner, which means monsters, creatures, and ghouls have come crawling out to celebrate the spooky season with the mere mortals. From vampires to ghosts to werewolves to real-life monsters, there is no shortage of monsters to choose your frights from. In honor of Halloween, we’re having some fun with some of our favorite monsters from pop culture. We joined the AI yearbook trend to imagine what some of Halloween’s finest monsters would look like in their own yearbook!
Read on to see what some of spooky season’s most iconic book and pop culture characters may have looked like in high school and what superlatives they might have won!
Biggest Drama King: Dracula
Even if his name wasn’t the title of Bram Stoker’s novel, Dracula would give massive main character energy. He lives in an ancient and decrepit castle, swishes around in a cape, and brags about having a heroic bloodline–let’s face it, there’s a reason he’s the blueprint for modern vampires.
Plenty of other vampires are out there, but Dracula remains the most iconic. He may not be the first vampire ever to exist, but he is undoubtedly the one that made being a vampire his claim to fame. His debut in the late 19th century was so successful that people often forget about the actual first modern vampire in the 1819 short story The Vampyre by John Polidori!
Although Dracula can be charming and cordial, he has a massive temper. He’s known to go into a rage when things don’t go his way, and they usually don’t because his plans are either too extravagant or too convoluted to end successfully. With his flair for theatrics and his unpredictable moods, he’s the clear winner for Biggest Drama King amongst our monster line-up.
Most Likely To Invent a New Form of Social Media: Hannibal Lecter
Hannibal is one of those people who uses their brain for the forces of evil instead of doing good. As a highly intelligent, highly cultured man who descends from a noble bloodline, he could have used his mind to make a lot of money and be one of those guys who drives a Tesla, speaks over women, and doesn’t leave a tip at restaurants. Instead, he chose a much darker path by becoming a cannibalistic serial killer.
Despite his flaws, Hannibal is highly judgemental of other people. He is especially harsh on people he believes are rude or have bad manners, even going as far as making these people his targets. Apparently, his version of etiquette frowns upon rudeness but allows cooking fellow humans. Some smart guys play by their own rules.
Given his smarts and need to criticize others, Hannibal is the perfect candidate to invent a new form of social media. What is social media but another way of judging others? Hannibal would probably love scrolling Instagram and leaving disparaging comments on carefully crafted posts, but would eventually grow bored and need to create his own platform. If anyone else would use Hannibal Lecter’s platform is another question, one that doesn’t need an answer.
Best Person to Share a Deserted Island With: Frankenstein‘s Monster
A lot is working against this poor guy. Despite being sensitive and intelligent, he never gets to be his own person. He doesn’t even have a name–when he isn’t referred to as Frankenstein’s Monster, he’s just known as The Creature, which is a name that does not do his nature justice.
He may have a bad reputation, but that’s only because people love to judge a book by its cover. But appearances aren’t everything; although his face may be intimidating, he is gentle, attentive, and friendly, always looking for a way to connect with humans. Spend five minutes alone with him and you’re sure to be best buds in no time.
There’s no better person to share a deserted island with. This may be the only monster that is not all that monstrous. He also spent his first days alive roaming the woods, so he has the skills to survive in the wilderness. He might even be the only one on this list willing to save your life instead of taking your life. What more can you ask for in an island companion?
Most Ambitious: Pinhead
Pinhead is a guy with a lot of ideas. As the main antagonist of the Hellraiser franchise, he appears in all eight movies and has a different scheme in each film. But no matter the plot, it’s always big and involves him wielding power of some kind.
He’s the type of monster to climb through the ranks. It’s not enough to be a monster, he has to be the worst monster. His origin story starts with him summoning an army of beings called Cenobites and eventually becoming their leader. Unlike the other monsters here, he sees the big picture. Instead of being petty and choosing his victims based on personal vendettas, he makes himself judge, jury, and executioner to everyone.
What makes Pinhead the best contender for Most Amibitous is not only his grand schemes, but his focus to succeed. He’s not one to dawdle and daydream–he’s a man of action. It’s hard to predict what he’s going to do next–a guy who goes from leading a demonic army to planning world domination is hard to pin down–but it’s safe to say he will always be a go-getter.
Most Likely To Come Back To Teach at His School: Freddy Krueger
Freddy Krueger isn’t one for change. Some outfit, same weapon, same face, same type of victims–he likes having a routine. Even death doesn’t get him to change it up, so it’s safe to say that he sticks with what he knows.
He also isn’t much of a traveler. Even when he gains the ability to visit the living in his death, he sticks to plaguing the minds of the people in his hometown. Not even his hometown–the people on his original street. So if he had the chance to work anywhere, he would most likely choose somewhere he’s familiar with, which is why he’s voted Most Likely To Come Back To Teach at His School.
Would he be a good teacher? No. Would he be liked by the students? Also no. Is there a school subject that he could actually create a class curriculum around? Absolutely not. But every school needs that one teacher who makes people wonder how they still have a job, and Freddy Krueger may be just the guy to fill that role.
Teacher’s Pet: Leatherface
Like Dracula, Leatherface has set the precedent for his genre. Because of his silent, hulking stance and the brutality of his actions, Leatherface is one of the first characters that come to mind when people think of slasher films. And for good reason–wearing masks made out of human faces and whacking people down with a chainsaw makes for a fearsome reputation.
Unlike the other monsters here, Leatherface is a family-oriented man. The family is equally as horrible as him, but a family all the same. He kills for them, serves time for them–everything he does is for his family. In this way, Leatherface is a kind of legacy case because, with relatives like his, he didn’t have a choice in how he turned out.
While everyone else on this list does their own thing, Leatherface works best in groups and following orders, the ideal Teacher’s Pet. He doesn’t need to think for himself when others do the thinking for him. Sure, it would be better for society if he was a teacher’s pet that asked about quizzes or tattled on cheaters, but Leatherface didn’t become the poster boy of a genre by being a stand-up citizen.
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