Hello, my fellow bookish tweeters! I know it’s been a long time since you’ve seen any new tweets from me, but here they are at long last, and just in time for Earth Day on Wednesday too! (And in case that never occurred to you given all our time in quarantine, I don’t blame you: I almost forgot about it myself…) So, while you can’t be around others within a six-foot-radius, you can still go outside – whether in your yard to smell the blooming roses and avoid the awaiting bloodthirsty mosquitoes, or out in the shops picking up extra rolls of TP. (Too soon?)
So anyway, here are the post-spring holiday tweets from the past week you’ve been waiting for, seven main ones with of course a few as a bonus since I never really could stick to just seven…
One Way To Write It
I’m sure some of you not only read books for the fun of it, but also write for fun as well. (Me, I’m still trying to find my writing niche/style, so it’s a process that can take a while…) But even if you don’t consider yourself a writer, you can tell from whatever books you like to read that certain authors have that specific style to them that just… works. And if you fancy yourself a good classical book to read, specifically from the 1800s, you can really pick up on the authors of the most famous and/or influential works of that time’s very similar style…
19th-century authors pic.twitter.com/Oj1gv1AZVx
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) April 13, 2020
Even if I may not be from the 1800s – or at least I don’t think I’d be in the physical sense – if you have been reading my tweet pieces, then you are very likely familiar with a style that is very much like that of the authors from the 1800s, at least in regards of having really lengthy sentences. (Hey, I just like to be as descriptive with my writing as my mind could fathom and I’m sure many of you writers out there dedicated to your craft can feel the same way.)
Weeding Out The Unworthy
You know when you first meet, or in this case first start talking online with, someone and you almost automatically get the sense of whether or not to continue your interactions with this person? I mean, it doesn’t even have to be on a romantic level – it could just be a strictly platonic thing, and yet you get that feeling that you should no longer give this person the time of day. And what should you do if this were to happen? You block them. Simple as that.
(For those hesitant to block someone online: at first, I felt guilty for doing this, but sometimes it’s the right thing to do; in fact, earlier this month, I blocked two people on Twitter within the timeframe of a day – for different reasons, of course – and I felt an inner pride for doing it.)
So, don’t let the fact that we’re under lockdown – and the loneliness that can come from that – get you thinking that you need to interact with everyone and anyone online, because as this tweet shows, there can be some bad apples out there that are just wasting your time…
Even in quarantine, we still have to have our standards, so spend your time talking to those who can make you happy.
A Sure-Fire One-Way Ticket Anyone Can Afford
Need a ride but have very little cash on you? Well, turn to this advertisement…
CALLING A LYFT
HITCHING A RIDE WITH CHARON, FERRYMAN OF THE DEAD
– only costs one coin
– sure there's just one destination but still, what a deal
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) April 14, 2020
If you think that’s great, for all the Witcher fans out there, take a look down below for this commenter’s response…
🎶Toss a coin to your Charon, Ferryman of Hades, Courier of the Innumerable Number of Souls Damned for the Underworld🎶
— CrushedParagon (@crushedparagon) April 14, 2020
Yes, I had to include this, because I’d be crazy not to… and yes, I did fit the tune to these lyrics!
Dying Is The New Dating
Are you tired of the dating game, whether if it’s the online method of having a machine decide who your soulmate is, or the age-old method of going out and talking yourself up to those you meet? (And trust me: the latter won’t cut it for us during these times.) While you may not be entirely up for either method when it comes to dating, you might just know when you’ve found the one you’ve been looking for, when you meet this once-in-a-lifetime match…
I'm fed up with "dating." When will a man see me at a masked ball and immediately want to marry me even though our families are mortal enemies and we're doomed and also he was in love with someone else like 5 minutes ago
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) April 16, 2020
Believe me: if he’s really willing to risk it all – even his own life – he really would be the once-in-a-lifetime match to die for.
The Excuse You’ve Been Waiting For
If you’ve ever been a bookworm – not sure why you would be here if you weren’t – and always wanted to read instead of going out to places with friends/family, and you’ve been searching for that perfect excuse not to leave the comfort of your own home and books, then – in case you haven’t come to this conclusion before at this point – look no further, for here it is…
This is, of course, not to paint the Coronavirus in a shining positive light in any way, but who knew this would be the ideal time for readers to do what they love most? (Oh, right: we all knew that…)
The Barest Minimum
Everyone has their preferences, especially when it comes to looking for someone: tall, dark, handsome, has a great sense of humor, has a loving heart… and of course, the list of qualities doesn’t stop just there…
Sure he's cute but would he challenge Claudio to a duel at your request to defend the honor of your most beloved cousin
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) April 17, 2020
Hey, you can’t blame them for having the will to put it all on the line for those closest to them if their honor has been besmirched in some way. You have to admit that honor can be a very sexy quality to find in a person.
A Special Delivery – Emphasis On Delivery
I think this one speaks for itself…
Ladies, if he
– Once killed some old guy at a crossroads
– Correctly answered the riddle of the Sphinx
– Is now the king of Thebes
He's your man, but he's also your son
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) April 17, 2020
Enough said, right?
And now, for the bonus tweets…
Bonus Tweet #1: A Special Bookish Announcement
As if you need to be reminded of this…
That they are!
Bonus Tweet #2: The Habit Of Habits
Consider this as checking in with yourself to see how you’re doing on catching on with your reading during quarantine… (And please answer honestly!)
Unfortunately for me, I replied to this as not having enough time to focus on reading for pleasure because of schoolwork for online classes, but that doesn’t mean I’m giving up. I know my books deserve better, so that’s why I’m striving to get to “slowly but surely” by the end of this month!
Bonus Tweet #3: A Stone-Cold Look That Kills (*Read Warning Below*)
I won’t say much about the tweet here since you’re about to see it right now, but I should really warn you about it at least: what you’re about to see is something so terrifying that it could – no, will just about kill you with just one single stare, and I think you know just which mythical creature is capable of doing such a thing without any effort put into it…
— Josh (@lMONFlRE) April 14, 2020
Hope you can still leave this article after getting stoned from that final tweet. (And no, that was totally not a nod at the fact that yesterday was 4/20, and you know exactly what that signifies…)
Featured Image Made via Photoshop
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