Didn’t it feel like just yesterday when I dished out the “Bookish Tweets To Start Off February”? Now, the end of February 2020 is just around the corner, and here are the tweets that’ll give you the final Feb. laughs and the month its proper send-off. Seriously: where did that time go?!
Well, I guess it’s time to start planning out your reading for the very next month. The one that’ll give you all the luck you need to go through your TBR pile – after you go through these tweets, of course!
No More Awkward Dinners…
For those of you who have been in a relationship before with someone whose parent, or even parents don’t like you or aren’t too crazy about you: awkwardness and discomfort aside when it all came down to it, you never gave a second thought about wanting to do anything to them, right? Well, some people handle it differently – even when they didn’t actually mean to…
Hamlet when he accidentally murders Polonius pic.twitter.com/9fZeoSh4JN
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) February 24, 2020
Look, Hamlet: it is one thing to accidentally stab your girlfriend’s dad (thinking that it was actually your evil stepdad), but it is a whole other thing to not take it a bit more seriously.
“Nobody” Is This Clueless
First lesson on going into the ancient Witness Protection Program: when you’re trying to cover up your identity, make sure you cover all of your tracks…
polyphemus: who is this?
– Sent from Odysseus's iPhone
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) February 26, 2020
The main thing I don’t get is this: if Odysseus and Polyphemus communicated on phones just like this, wouldn’t Odysseus have to make the first move to reach out to the cyclops? By then though, Poly here should’ve noticed that his name was actually Odysseus before Ody had the chance to tell him his fake name… but that’s just my observation!
Is There A Plan B Where I’m Not Dead?
Imagine that your boyfriend has been banished from town and you’re about to be put into a forced marriage with a guy you’re not too fond of. You turn to the one person you expect to give you some sage advice on waiting it out and trying to be optimistic. This is what he tells you…
Juliet: So Romeo's been exiled from Verona and my dad's forcing me to marry Paris. What should we do?
Friar Laurence: pic.twitter.com/tVkB0T5bqE
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) February 25, 2020
To be fair, this would be waiting it out… just not alive! Well, temporarily.
Books Of Blood Lead To Dreams Of Blood
Book publishers pride themselves on putting great books in our hands and inspiring us to want to put books in future generations’ hands as well! However, Penguin Random House takes it a step further: they have a mailing list for #readtosleep where they send emails with tips on how to get better nights of sleep, of course involving books to read and keep by your bedside.
Anyway, in response to #readtosleep mission, this Twitter user has an interesting choice of books to read right before heading off to sleep, and PRH’s reply said this…
— Penguin Random House 🐧🏠📚 (@penguinrandom) February 27, 2020
Unless you prefer to dream of getting soaked with pigs’ blood at a school dance in front of everyone, then we wouldn’t recommend anything that serves as nightmare fuel…
Whatcha Gonna Do –
You always have to be careful about what you say, no matter how bizarre the circumstances…
Beware the phantom, lest you risk getting “phantomed” yourself!
Nothing But Books Can Buy You Love
Considering that this was the month of love of the year, might as well include a tweet that nods towards the holiday of love, in case you haven’t gotten enough love from my bookish tweets article specifically for Valentine’s Day (check it out in case you haven’t)! Anyway, this Read It Forward tweet came out a week after Valentine’s Day, and its message couldn’t be any clearer…
You can’t appreciate what you want out of a relationship with someone without taking the time to appreciate what you have by yourself, and if what you have happens to be books, you won’t be judged: we booklovers know just how much fun and love you can get from books when you are on your own reading them! And if you’re lucky enough to be with someone, share a book with them so they won’t be left out – your partner and your books will thank you!!
Are You The Perfect Package?
Getting back to love, it’s hard to find someone who is the “perfect package” for you – a large reason why dating sites and apps exist. So, you start listing what you’re looking for in that special someone, and that of course varies from person to person, but a detailed list like this of qualities of which someone is surely not to have all three is very rare, to say the least…
No one has all three:
– A social life
– A consistent sleep schedule
– A cursed portrait in the attic that secretly bears the marks of their sins
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) February 28, 2020
For me, it’s definitely “no” to the first two (with some variation); the third, however, I may find if I looked in my attic far and hard enough!
And now, a special bonus tweet!
Bonus Tweet: It Is Written In The Trees (Not Stars)
Now comes a tweet from one of my personal favorite authors, contemporary teen fiction writer Susane Colasanti! While this tweet came from much earlier in the month (even earlier than the Read It Forward tweet), I think this really ties the whole article together…
I heard Sandra Cisneros say, “People who talk to trees are destined to become artists,” and now my life makes so much sense.
— Susane Colasanti (@susanecolasanti) February 17, 2020
Bless Sandra Cisneros for bestowing Susane and us with this nice little piece of advice, and bless us for immersing ourselves in this wondrous art of literature! (Trust me when I say that I did dabble in the art of tree-talking, so it’s only a matter of time when I become my own artist in the world of literature…)
At last, I will finally end this article at the end of the month with this inquiring tweet…
— Penguin Random House 🐧🏠📚 (@penguinrandom) February 28, 2020
Featured Image Made Via Photoshop
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