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5 Books With Hilariously Long Titles

Oh how I love an indulgently long title. While a nice snappy one may make for a more visually appealing cover, the long ones are often the funniest. I present to you a list of the longest, most amusing book titles I could find. I hope you enjoy reading them aloud as fast as possible, as much as I did. 

 

1. No Matter How Much You Promise to Cook or Pay the Rent You Blew It Cauze Bill Bailey Ain’t Never Coming Home Again; A Symphonic Novel by Edgardo Vega Yunqué 

 

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Image Via Amazon

Amazon says:

 

This sweeping drama of intimately connected families–black, white, and Latino–boldly conjures up the ever-shifting cultural mosaic that is America. At its heart is Vidamía Farrell, half Puerto Rican, half Irish, who sets out in search of the father she has never known. Her journey takes her from her affluent suburban home to the Lower East Side of Manhattan, where her father Billy Farrell now lives with his second family. Once a gifted jazz pianist, Billy lost two fingers in the Vietnam War and has since shut himself off from jazz. As Billy’s colorful new family draws her into their fold, so Vidamia determines to draw her father back into the world he left behind.

 

2. The Life and Strange Surprizing Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, Of York, Mariner: Who lived Eight and Twenty Years, all alone in an un-inhabited Island on the Coast of America, near the Mouth of the Great River of Oroonoque; Having been cast on Shore by Shipwreck, wherein all the Men perished but himself. With An Account how he was at last as strangely deliver’d by Pyrates by Daniel Defoe

 

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Image Via Illinois State University 

Goodreads says:

 

Crusoe sets sail from the Queen’s Dock in Hull on a sea voyage in August 1651, against the wishes of his parents, who want him to pursue a career, possibly in law. After a tumultuous journey where his ship is wrecked in a storm, his lust for the sea remains so strong that he sets out to sea again. This journey, too, ends in disaster, as the ship is taken over by Sale pirates and Crusoe is enslaved by a Moor. 

 

3. And to My Nephew Albert I Leave the Island What I Won Off Fatty Hagan in a Poker Game by David Forrest

 

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Image Via AbeBooks

Amazon says: 

 

Foul Rock is a tiny speck only seventy meters wide and one hundred and forty meters long, just off the coast of England. When he first sets foot on his inheritance, Albert quickly realises that there is absolutely nothing there, nothing except for the frequent presence of Victoria, a very attractive young girl in search of a suntan. Just as the two are getting to know each other better, a Russian trawler (spy ship) runs aground on the Island. The other side of the Island is soon occupied by the United States Marines and Victoria and Albert find themselves caught up in a precarious and hilarious Cold War stand off.

 

4. The Fortunes and Misfortunes of the Famous Moll Flanders Who was born in Newgate, and during a life of continu’d Variety for Threescore Years, besides her Childhood, was Twelve Years a Whore, five times a Wife (whereof once to her brother) Twelve Years a Thief, Eight Years a Transported Felon in Virginia, at last grew Rich, liv’d Honest and died a Penitent by Daniel Defoe

 

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Image Via Amazon.com

 

Amazon says:

 

Moll Flanders is a novel by Daniel Defoe. It purports to be the true account of the life of the eponymous Moll, detailing her exploits from birth until old age. Moll’s mother is a convict in Newgate Prison in London who is given a reprieve by “pleading her belly,” a reference to the custom of staying the executions of pregnant criminals.

 

5. The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Traitor to the Nation, Volume I: The Pox Party by M.T Anderson

 

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Image Via Amazon

Amazon says:

 

It sounds like a fairy tale. He is a boy dressed in silks and white wigs and given the finest of classical educations. Raised by a group of rational philosophers known only by numbers, the boy and his mother — a princess in exile from a faraway land — are the only persons in their household assigned names. 

 

Only after he dares to open a forbidden door does he learn the hideous nature of their experiments — and his own chilling role in them. Set against the disquiet of Revolutionary Boston, M. T. Anderson’s extraordinary novel takes place at a time when American Patriots rioted and battled to win liberty while African slaves were entreated to risk their lives for a freedom they would never claim. The first of two parts, this deeply provocative novel reimagines the past as an eerie place that has startling resonance for readers today.

 

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